Walking on thin trembling wires

I always admired young university graduates who knew from the start what further upgraded education to follow like a master or an MBA or whatever and enroll immediately in a corporate of one kind or another.

On the other hand I notice today a high degree of saturation among these fellows and reactions like quitting their corporate jobs and a strong need to find out who they are, looking for their inner flow, trying to do things that better represent them, being on their own. At least in Romania.

I chose a very different road to take. I counted minutes till graduation and I was impatient to start following my dreams, testing my ideas and so on. I also loved very much what I studied in school and I keep spending great deal of time studying.

Like many other Romanians, I face a delicate period of time in my life and I have to make serious money from all possible sources reason for which I try all leads, including the possibility to get also a normal job – of course if it’s settled in fair, reasonable and honorable terms as “being a slave” was never part of my SWOT analysis. Servant is another thing, though.

With this occasion I interact again with the most incompatible professionals with my typology – HRs  – which I respect but I never managed to understand their logic.

Recently another independent HR recruiter approached me for a job. I sent him my CV and then we met 2 days later. He said that my CV is just a nice story (only because it’s not the latest standard format). I couldn’t help arguing and saying (polite and calm, of course): “it is not just a story; it is a real and true story”.

Then he asked me (what in his vision the platinum key questions were) while he seemed very willing to obtain for me this job opportunity:

HR:  “Do you have a master?”

I:       “Not yet.”

HR:  “Do you have a MBA?”

I:       “Not yet.”

HR:  “Do you have any kind of post university degree?”

I:       “Not yet.”

HR:   “But what did you do?” (looking at me as looking to an alien)

I:       “I worked like crazy, I got my hands dirty, and I achieved great and unique performances starting from the underground.  Just take a look over my achievements. These things talk better about me, about my skills and my knowledge, about what I did, what I do and what I can do.

If you just think about it, taking an MBA is not an act of performing; it’s just an act of officially studying. But making performance, keep learning and self educating it is an act of talent and certain core skills. I have plenty of time to take 10 MBAs not 1 in the next few years. I just followed my inner flow after university graduation comparing with other people’s roads chosen; I needed first to find out who I am and what I want and I had the courage to follow that flow. I just couldn’t be who I wasn’t and do things differently. That’s all.”

He was quiet, maybe thinking or maybe just playing diplomat, still a little bit neurotic. Maybe he couldn’t imagine how someone not having the time to take an MBA could do those things. Maybe he felt frustrated thinking of his own inner flow and what he did about it until now. Or maybe he thought I am too assertive or even manipulative. Anyway, he never called me back or sent feedback.

Once again it proved that I am an alien for the conventional thinking way, for the way big systems are created, for HR-s and once again the same reality as always – revealed with strength into my face and said to me with an incredible loud voice: “You have to break the impossible again and go beyond your own new limits in these new moving sands and unpredictable playgrounds. You have no other choice.”

This time – the HOW question is harder to be answered. That’s all.

I always have been on my own; I don’t know what made me try to change that, even for a moment. I have many real and strong reasons, but if I just think well and sincere enough – none of them are also excuses. They never were.

I feel like Neo from the well known Matrix movie. Not like him in general, but like him in that period of time after he accepted the new realities of his new choice and he was between his newer and his newest version of being; in that period of uplifted transformation, transition.

But what could Neo do and be without Morpheus – the great believer in his nature and potential?

I’ve been playing Morpheus’s role for many people who worked for me and with me during time. We bite the mud together; we got our hands dirty together taking everything from the grass roots and achieved great and unique things together starting from nothing and in many occasions we managed to do things that we thought impossible and far beyond our powers and imagination. Because I believed and made them also believe!

Now it seems I need my own Morpheus as I feel like him when he was captured by Smith agents.

This reminds me of a very recent article that I read about an USA NGO providing its former donors and sponsors help usually offered to poor because they deeply fell due to the bad economic situation and they needed any kind of help available: meals, accommodations, etc and those people thoughts about their new feelings and their new bitter ironic state of life facts.

I am not there, yet – as for the moment I still manage to walk on thin trembling wires – but each time I go outside and see more and more new people looking for food and things in the places where we take out our garbage – I can’t help myself thinking: “Between me and these people there is no more than 1 meter left. It always has been no more than 1 meter left, no matter my status. Now I can just see that meter – This is the only difference between the old me and the new me.”  

While walking on this new reality road I realize once again – but at a new level of awareness that the only Morpheus we have is God and His mysterious ways of doing magic things for us; the eternal truth that we never managed to understand well enough and deep enough.

Walking on thin trembling wires and not falling – despite loosing balance from time to time – is the first miracle happening for one who lives against everyone else’s predictions and bets and somehow against humans’ Mathematics. That’s fascinating!

The only part we have to play is to never stop trying and believing.

I am disarmed for the moment and I have no idea of how to break this vicious circle, yet. But I am sure that sooner or later I will find out or something will just happen and I’ll tell you about it.

It is Christmas time and we should equip ourselves with new gratitude, new joy and new extra powers for keep trying and keep believing further. It’s our time to breathe for a moment and to enjoy the magic of life.

Take that time for yourself & enjoy it at your maximum of feeling potential!

Merry Christmas and Happy winter holidays!